In the interest of pure honesty, I have only managed 500 words once since making my new goals five days ago. Part of me feels like a failure and part of me has decided that I’m going on vacation in three days and bugger those goals.
I find myself frustrated. The common theme in my life is sitting at work wishing I was writing, then coming home and finding something like Warcraft or a well-written book or randomly linked studies about non-believers who are working in the pastoral field (while I was looking for a way to hide those Twitter posts on my LJ friends-list…you know how you do a Goggle search and click a likely result and then see someone talking about something non-related and then–ooooh, shiny!)
I suppose the good part is that I’m sitting down and hand-writing the words I do write. The bad part is that once I sit at the computer I seem to have trouble staying focused. I’m clearly going to have to start using Q10 more often, even though I’m stupidly in love with Calibri font ever since installing Office 2007. (Yes, I’m a typeface nerd, sue me.) I’ll remind myself that I love the little clickety-clacking of the typewriter keys, and the satisfying ka-chinggggg when I hit the carriage return. Honestly at this point if I still had that old Royal Sahara electric typewriter, I would shut my computer off and make myself crank out a few pages on that.
Of course, what I’ve discovered is that as soon as I set a goal like that, Life Happens. I spent the weekend painting and cleaning at my grandmother’s old house to try to get it ready to sell. My best friend’s dad is in the hospital. Another friend is possibly facing hospitalization. Another friend needs me to give her cat insulin shots on a fairly regular basis because she’s dating someone a couple of hours away.
And in the time I have left, I get selfish and whiny. I don’t want to write. I want to relax! I want to read or play a game. I don’t want to THINK.
I’m going to tell myself that a good vacation will help me out. Vacations always get me writing.
Check this space two weeks from now. *G*